High School Football Locker Room Secrets! 


In this Age of Fatherlessness, I speculate that many single mothers are “clueless” regarding their sons’ convoluted journey into manhood. Allow me to explain. Picture any mother walking her three year old son through a local county park. As he tries to run ahead to climb a nearby tree, this mother grabs him and slaps his hand and shouts, “Be still and stop bothering the ducks and getting your clothes dirty!” The next week, the biological father has custody and takes his son to the same park for an outing. Once again, the exuberant son runs ahead and tries to climb a nearby tree. This Dad smiles and lifts his son four feet in the air and says, “Junior, let’s see if you can climb as high as Spiderman.” Theoretically, do you see how fatherlessness creates a void in the lives of countless boys [and girls] during their formative years? Mothers can’t teach their son how to wrestle, run faster than his peers, fight, or climb trees – even if it means getting his clothes dirty. Instead, their “female” instincts often conflict with their sons’ masculinization and maturation. Paradoxically, boys in elementary school tend to have female teachers who unwittingly exemplify this “psychological penis complex” by demanding that energetic boys be still and behave themselves. Antithetically, several innovative all-male primary and secondary schools in inner cities already have proven themselves to be more successful in inculcating emotional security and academic success for at risk male students. Stated differently, WE can fix it IF we can face it! Yet, in all fairness, Mom, none of us guys can comprehend your irritability during menstruation or what you feel when your water breaks as you give birth to your children. Indeed, gender is a moral issue circumscribed by a need for children to identify with and to develop intimacy with the same sex parent. Throughout middle school, high school and college, pubescent males experience rites of passage, virility rituals, hazing, or other forms of initiation into the “brotherhood”. Yet, what happened at Sayreville High is “mild” compared to what happened with Junior’s teammates after the State Championship game. As you read our textbook, you will see that a mother’s definition of “going too far” invariably will have a lower tolerance for histrionics and rough play than a father’s. Ergo, VICE’s workshops deal with physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual “guy stuff” from a virile perspective rather than the softer maternal point of reference. Toward empowering adolescent males to reach adulthood unscathed by sexual mistakes or sexual molestation, Victory In Christ Ensemble proffers parents, coaches, cops, pastors, etc., our unorthodox, yet Biblically correct, textbook in sex education. Boys will be boys; but there are limits for everything. As Junior experiences puberty, hopefully, you will feel more comfortable setting limits for hazing and horseplay that are compatible with masculine morals and virile core values.


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